I was recently asked by a close friend to start blogging again. It is something I've been considering for a while but the busyness of life and the challenge of what to write has kept me away. There are certainly several 'controversial' topics I'd like to talk about, but the knock-on effects of those are always a challenge and the question remains of what is the best forum for such discussions. I've not yet made my mind up on whether or not to discuss them, and over the next few weeks I'm going to put a lot of thought into them and will come to a decision. But for now, I should probably update you on my life!
I'm currently in the heaviest part of my masters! (LLM Human Rights Law at The University of Nottingham! Exciting!) I have, since the beginning of March, written two essays of 4,500 words (roughly), and have another three to do before the 17th May! (Wah!!) On top of that I have an exam on the 1st May (worth 100% of a full-year module!) and one on the 7th May. So, life is certainly not pressure-free. It's also my birthday on the 4th, and there are some major social events happening on May bank-holiday in Aber that I'd love to go to, but I really doubt I'm going to have the time!
Although life is busy, I'm feeling really quite relaxed and at peace about it - I know God has it all in control! :) Woop for Jesus! It's so freeing to be able to sit back and know that it's all in His hands. The burden is lifted and I'm not panicking anywhere near as much as I was a few months ago!
I've settled in much more to my mum's house now too. Its a really beautiful place and my room, despite not being big, is beautiful. (and very girly). The only downside is that it is 45mins (with no traffic) from uni. This is a real pain when all I need to do is pop in to collect some books. Especially as the uni has a silly system of only giving out the same student parking permits to those that live miiillleeesss away that they give to student with their cars on campus - which means I have the joy of driving for what feels like forever, then walking up a hill lugging masses of books, my lunch, my dinner, a laptop, etc... pah! (You can tell this has been a cause of great frustration!) This is only made more annoying because staff that live close by can park right by the doors - unjust or what!?!
Tom and I have managed to see each other roughly once every two weeks which is great. Although when we have to stretch it to 3 weeks its much harder - 2.5 weeks is definitely my limit! We've also been able to see some of our really good friends a lot since we moved to the midlands which is really good as we had found really hard getting to see them whilst living in Aber because of the time it took to get there and Tom's work commitments. They've had a beautiful little girl this year and it has been great fun playing with her :) It's been especially good for me as I've had a fear of children (especially babies) for a good few years now so it's wonderful being able to deal with those fears and put them away :) Praise God!
I've also been going to a really great church in the centre of Nottingham - I'll post another post up about Gracechurch soon as I've been waffling for too long now and really should be writing an essay! I'm writing this one on philosophical arguments for why abortion and killing and eating unwanted children is wrong! Interesting, I know! (Follow the link for a wiki explanation!)
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Wednesday, 10 April 2013
Monday, 4 June 2012
Aberystwyth Comes to an End...
These past three years have been amazing and have meant so much to me... Let's take a walk through my time at Uni.
First Year
First year brought the joy of a new place, new people and lots of excitement...
First Year
First year brought the joy of a new place, new people and lots of excitement...
'Anti-Halloween Party' (for scaredy-cats)
The St.Mikes' Ball
CU House Party
Whilst I really enjoyed moving to Aber, didn't find moving away from home too hard, and thoroughly enjoyed making new friends and having a new adventure, November 2009 saw my family break up.
After a difficult Christmas I was thrown into depression. All I can say is a massive thank you to everyone that stuck with me and showed me such amazing love and support over the year! Especially to the amazing Hannah Sweeney...
and my fantastic boyfriend, Tom Lott...
Thankfully, through His love and grace, God broke my depression in June 2009!
Second Year
Second year was full of change and the joys of cracking down a little bit more with work and growing closer to different people... now for the pictures!
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| Isaac, Toby, Laura and Me |
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| Me and Laura |
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| Phil, Ben, and Mark - Ali's birthday celebration |
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| Laura and I go to Marseilles |
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| Harry, Dan and Tom playing FIFA |
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| Josh, Tom, Rachel and I welcome the summer with a walk along the sea-front |
Third Year
So, third year saw me become a bit more of a hermit :P I really put a considerable more amount of time and effort into doing my work, but I have had so much fun! I've learnt so much and thoroughly enjoyed the time spent with such amazing friends! So, here comes another year in photos...
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| Katie |
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| Isaac eating cake off the floor! |
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| Amy and Amy |
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| Laughter in the house with Kirsty, Jo and Chris |
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| Surprise!! Kirsty's 21st |
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| Isaac and Toby in the SUN! |
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| Me and Tom on my 21st |
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| J-Wo! |
So now all that is left to do is to say thank you to all the amazing people that have made my time at Aber what it has been.
Thank you so much to all my friends for providing so much fun and laughter over the past three years! It's been a joy :)
And a massive thank you to St.Mikes (both staff and the congregation) for growing with me and encouraging me in my walk with God and being a support in times of hardship.
Bye bye Aberystwyth...
Thursday, 23 February 2012
Pintrest
Several of my housemates have had a 'Pintrest' for a while but I figured that as I already have a blog, am on Facebook, and have a Twitter account that I shouldn't really get another 'page'.
I gave in
I was sat in the lounge the other day and Sarah was showing us her Pintrest page which she has used to 'pin' wedding ideas on. I then looked through Kirsty's and decided that I did want one but that I'd only use it a little and would definitely NOT put any wedding things on...
I gave in... although, not too badly! I am resisting, its just some people's 'Pins' are so pretty!! :)
Here is my latest 'Pin':
I just though it was so beautiful... and of course so true! Just to clarify... it is a reference to God's love for us... see verses such as Hosea 2:19, Deuteronomy 4:24, and so many more!
As you can see though, I haven't gone crazy on 'pinning' wedding things, with only 3 vaguely related 'pins'... Which is good, especially as a girl! It has been really funny looking at friend's pages and noting just how many have a 'board' dedicated to weddings... and so many are single! Ah, girls! :)
I've had much more fun looking at ideas for a home! :)
Please, take a look at my 'pintrest' page :)
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Search me and know me
I read this last night and was just struck by the beauty of it.
O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
(Psalm 139 ESV)
O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
(Psalm 139 ESV)
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
A prayerful person's heart...
'[A prayerful person's] heart is ever lifted up to God at all times and in all places. In this [they are] never hindered, much less interrupted, by any person or thing... [Their] heart is ever with the Lord. Whether [they] lie down or rise up, God is in all [their] thoughts; [they walk] with God continually.'
- John Welsey
This is such a challenge. A beautiful challenge. And it is something I've desired for such a long time.
I want to be someone who is consistently in a place of prayer. Someone who doesn't mind stopping and praying for someone crying on the train, someone who prays for those around her continually. Sometimes prayer can feel like such a burden when I know I have to pray for someone, but when I finally pray I feel like I could pray for hours. I just need to place my heart in such a place.
I want my heart to be 'ever with the Lord'. It would be so amazing. To have God in my heart and mind and soul continuously would result in me having such a close relationship with Him. A relationship I'd do anything for - however hard that may be to say... and actually do.
The repercussions of such a heart and place of prayer would be wholesome and pure. It would be harder for me to sin. When I'd sin, I'd immediately repent and ask for forgiveness. In receiving that forgiveness my heart would be so full of God's grace. This would lead to me being more gracious and patient with those around me. Which would lead to a clear pouring of God's love on those around me. Which would, I'd hope and have seen, lead people to be more loving and gracious to those around them.
This cycle would lead to a deeper understanding of God's amazing grace and love and would lead to a deeper relationship with Him.
Please pray that I will have a prayerful person's heart and that this would lead to growth in my relationship with Him.
And please challenge me to pray for you, even if you just bump into me in the street.
- John Welsey
This is such a challenge. A beautiful challenge. And it is something I've desired for such a long time.
I want to be someone who is consistently in a place of prayer. Someone who doesn't mind stopping and praying for someone crying on the train, someone who prays for those around her continually. Sometimes prayer can feel like such a burden when I know I have to pray for someone, but when I finally pray I feel like I could pray for hours. I just need to place my heart in such a place.
I want my heart to be 'ever with the Lord'. It would be so amazing. To have God in my heart and mind and soul continuously would result in me having such a close relationship with Him. A relationship I'd do anything for - however hard that may be to say... and actually do.
The repercussions of such a heart and place of prayer would be wholesome and pure. It would be harder for me to sin. When I'd sin, I'd immediately repent and ask for forgiveness. In receiving that forgiveness my heart would be so full of God's grace. This would lead to me being more gracious and patient with those around me. Which would lead to a clear pouring of God's love on those around me. Which would, I'd hope and have seen, lead people to be more loving and gracious to those around them.
This cycle would lead to a deeper understanding of God's amazing grace and love and would lead to a deeper relationship with Him.
Please pray that I will have a prayerful person's heart and that this would lead to growth in my relationship with Him.
And please challenge me to pray for you, even if you just bump into me in the street.
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
Christ-Centred Worship
'Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord being tuned, not to each other, but to one standard to which each one must bow. So one hundred worshippers met together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be were they to become "unity" conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship' - A.W.Tozer
How beautiful is that! When we worship together, focussing on Christ, we are united and we sing and pray as one. This seems to make sense of the idea that we will all worship in one voice in Heaven - the voice of that focussed on Christ.
This notion of true Christ-centred worship is just beautiful. The worship that focusses on Christ's awesome power rather than our problems or even our "awesomeness" in pride. How amazing is it to be able to sit back and think that all that matters in life, ALL that matters, is Christ and His person; what He has done for us; His love for us. In the end of the day it doesn't matter if I leave uni with a first or a third, ALL that matter is Christ. It doesn't matter if I find a job, ALL that matters is Christ. It doesn't matter whether I ever get married or have children, ALL that matters is Christ. How freeing is that!!
I'm not at all saying its easy if stuff doesn't happen in our lives, but if we re-align our focus to Christ, all that we get is blessing and in the end of the day, we have to worship. We're drawn to worship Him because He truly is worthy of it.
'HE is the image of the invisible God, the first-born of all creation. For by HIM all things were created, in Heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through HIM and for HIM. And HE is before all things, and in HIM all things hold together. And HE is the head of the body, the church. HE is the beginning, the first-born from the dead, that in everything HE might be pre-eminent. For in HIM all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through HIM to reconcile to HIMself all things, whether on earth or in Heaven, making peace by the blood of HIS cross.
And you, who were once alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, HE has now reconciled in HIS body of flesh by HIS death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before HIM...'
- Colossians 1:15-23
How amazing is it when we focus on Christ and His glory!
How beautiful is that! When we worship together, focussing on Christ, we are united and we sing and pray as one. This seems to make sense of the idea that we will all worship in one voice in Heaven - the voice of that focussed on Christ.
This notion of true Christ-centred worship is just beautiful. The worship that focusses on Christ's awesome power rather than our problems or even our "awesomeness" in pride. How amazing is it to be able to sit back and think that all that matters in life, ALL that matters, is Christ and His person; what He has done for us; His love for us. In the end of the day it doesn't matter if I leave uni with a first or a third, ALL that matter is Christ. It doesn't matter if I find a job, ALL that matters is Christ. It doesn't matter whether I ever get married or have children, ALL that matters is Christ. How freeing is that!!
I'm not at all saying its easy if stuff doesn't happen in our lives, but if we re-align our focus to Christ, all that we get is blessing and in the end of the day, we have to worship. We're drawn to worship Him because He truly is worthy of it.
'HE is the image of the invisible God, the first-born of all creation. For by HIM all things were created, in Heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through HIM and for HIM. And HE is before all things, and in HIM all things hold together. And HE is the head of the body, the church. HE is the beginning, the first-born from the dead, that in everything HE might be pre-eminent. For in HIM all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through HIM to reconcile to HIMself all things, whether on earth or in Heaven, making peace by the blood of HIS cross.
And you, who were once alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, HE has now reconciled in HIS body of flesh by HIS death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before HIM...'
- Colossians 1:15-23
How amazing is it when we focus on Christ and His glory!
Please also take a look at my boyfriend, Tom's, blog :)
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Walking with God
Over the last week it's been on the back of my mind that I am not as close to God as I used to be.
I don't know if this an age thing, and in growing up I have become less 'emotion based' and so I don't get the 'bubbly feelings' any more. Or maybe I'm just in a time where I don't 'need' God so obviously. Of course, I always need Him, but throughout my first year at Aber I suffered from depression and my family was going through a really tough time, in this year I felt God really closely. I guess life in general is much better than it was and I'm no longer suffering from depression, maybe then I don't need so much obvious support and closeness to keep me going.
I've just found it difficult remembering walking with Him and being close to Him, being confident of who I was in Him and in His love for me. I know things are always greener on the other side, and I'm not saying it was like this all the time, but I just miss it.
I remember walking around Aber, on the sea front or up Constitution Hill and feeling God there, right next to me. I used to feel Him in my room with me and I'd regularly worship at the top of my lungs in my room and spend hours with Him reading my Bible.
I'm currently in the process of reading three books: 1. Growing in Christ, 2. Knowing God, 3. Disciplines of a Godly Woman. They have already taught me quite a bit. I've finished the first section of Growing in Christ and it was really helpful at looking at the basics of the Christian faith, in a lot of detail. Packer goes through the Apostle's Creed bit by bit and explains it, taking each section back to Christ's faithfulness and love for us. Knowing God looks at more practical ways of getting to really know God and Disciplines of a Godly Woman (which I've only just really started) looks at spiritual discipline that will help us grow.
While all these books focus on the Gospel and God's greatness and are really very great, I've finding it hard to understand the Gospel in its fullness again, I just don't know how. I've been working my way through John's gospel which has been really helpful, but again I'm left with the same issue. - It feels awkward.
I feel really very awkward when I feel like God may be drawing closer, and so I push away. I don't want to, its just a reaction. I find the same thing when I pray with people or talk with people about God, I just feel like 'whoa this is so cheesy and cringe worthy'.
I do know that God is good, and I know He is faithful, but I want to be able to walk with Him again and not feel awkward, not feel cheesy and not feel weird. He is a good God and I know that in His time He will bring me back into His arms.
I don't know if this an age thing, and in growing up I have become less 'emotion based' and so I don't get the 'bubbly feelings' any more. Or maybe I'm just in a time where I don't 'need' God so obviously. Of course, I always need Him, but throughout my first year at Aber I suffered from depression and my family was going through a really tough time, in this year I felt God really closely. I guess life in general is much better than it was and I'm no longer suffering from depression, maybe then I don't need so much obvious support and closeness to keep me going.
I've just found it difficult remembering walking with Him and being close to Him, being confident of who I was in Him and in His love for me. I know things are always greener on the other side, and I'm not saying it was like this all the time, but I just miss it.
I remember walking around Aber, on the sea front or up Constitution Hill and feeling God there, right next to me. I used to feel Him in my room with me and I'd regularly worship at the top of my lungs in my room and spend hours with Him reading my Bible.
While all these books focus on the Gospel and God's greatness and are really very great, I've finding it hard to understand the Gospel in its fullness again, I just don't know how. I've been working my way through John's gospel which has been really helpful, but again I'm left with the same issue. - It feels awkward.
I feel really very awkward when I feel like God may be drawing closer, and so I push away. I don't want to, its just a reaction. I find the same thing when I pray with people or talk with people about God, I just feel like 'whoa this is so cheesy and cringe worthy'.
I do know that God is good, and I know He is faithful, but I want to be able to walk with Him again and not feel awkward, not feel cheesy and not feel weird. He is a good God and I know that in His time He will bring me back into His arms.
Tuesday, 13 September 2011
Summer comes to an end...
Summer is now swiftly coming to an end and things are starting to normalise again...
This summer has been really quite good. I thoroughly enjoyed my time at CARE and loved 'working' in London for those 5 weeks. It definitely tickled my taste buds for the future. I've just in fact been looking at possible posts in London for myself next year if I were to do a part-time Masters - I've decided I'm going to apply for a Masters!
It has also been wonderful seeing friends of mine get married! The Brights and the Sweeneys both got married this summer and to have been part of such wonderful events was lovely. They are wonderful people and I am looking forward to seeing how God uses them as couples in the future! :)
This summer has been really quite good. I thoroughly enjoyed my time at CARE and loved 'working' in London for those 5 weeks. It definitely tickled my taste buds for the future. I've just in fact been looking at possible posts in London for myself next year if I were to do a part-time Masters - I've decided I'm going to apply for a Masters!
It has also been wonderful seeing friends of mine get married! The Brights and the Sweeneys both got married this summer and to have been part of such wonderful events was lovely. They are wonderful people and I am looking forward to seeing how God uses them as couples in the future! :)
While that has all been wonderful, my highlight for this summer has to be the time I've spent with my family. I haven't spent too much time at home as I was staying in London for a large chunk of the holidays, but what I have spent at home has been wonderful. Now I'm back in Aber I'm really going to miss them! In fact, I only left yesterday and I already really miss them!
It's been exceptionally wonderful spending time with my sisters getting to know them better. As siblings the tendency to fight with each other and argue when we were younger was very strong, but now that we're all growing up we can have civilised conversations! and much more of course! :) I really do love them both greatly and will really miss them!
Here are some photos of us (and my cousins) messing around a few weeks ago...
Sunday, 14 August 2011
The Shack
I know writing a post about The Shack now seems a little outdated but today I finished reading it.
I started reading The Shack nearly a year ago but put it down when uni reading became more of a priority, I picked it up today and finished it.
This book is such an emotional roller-coaster... and the emotion it brings is wonderful. I really like a book that brings me in and The Shack certainly achieves that.
The story is beautiful.
While it is beautiful and emotive and a wonderful piece of written work, sadly it has had a lot of controversy around it.
After The Shack was published it received an immediate response from the Christian community praising how amazing the book was and how it would be an amazing tool for evangelism. In fact, the cover of the book quotes "This book has the potential to do for our generation what John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress did for his. It's that good!".
However, after the immidiate hype came a somewhat longer lasting criticism of the book as theologically incorrect. Some of the issues include the portrayal of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Another is that of the 'logistics' of forgiveness.
Reading this book, I must admit that, as the writer states will probably occur, I am left with a greater desire for close relationship with God. Despite possible theological inaccuracies.
I think there are a couple of important things to remember when reading The Shack;
1. It was written by a non-Christian as a fictional book... he is not a theologian.
2. We should always question what we read. There are many books written which we, the Christian community, will priase simply because it is written by Wayne Grudem, John Piper, John Stott etc. We still need to question what we read and come to conclusions for our selves. This works in two ways. Firstly, we engage in what we are reading greater and therefore take away more. Secondly, we are not naive when discussing 'hot topics' such as the theological correctness of The Shack; I have had too many conversations about The Shack with people criticising it without having read it themselves.
The issue of the portrayal of God the Father ('Papa') in The Shack firstly as a woman I know has caused many to react. I would like to state however that God is outside gender. Our God is greater than our imagination and our understanding. Also, in The Shack, 'Papa' later appears as a man, a Father, He explains that Mack's issues with his father led to his needing to see God as outside of gender, and approach Him first as a big black woman to break down his stereotypes and his problems with "fathers". This, I believe, reveals God greatly! God reveals Himself understanding of our needs and difficulties, and in a way best restoring our relationship with Him.
How beautiful is that?!
I would urge anyone and everyone to read The Shack. It will bring you to tears, make you laugh, and leave you with a greater desire to know God personally. I have never read such a beautiful and challenging story... other than that of Jesus of course...
Blessings x
Sunday, 17 July 2011
The Sweeney Wedding
Last weekend saw the wedding of two of the most wonderful people I know.. Hannah Purnell and Alistair Sweeney.
The wedding was beautiful!
It was such a moving wedding. I found it so hard not to cry all the way through!
Ali's speech at the reception was so moving! I nearly cried!
The wedding was beautiful!
It was such a moving wedding. I found it so hard not to cry all the way through!
It was really moving and the love they have for each other and God was so clear throughout the whole service.
Ali's speech at the reception was so moving! I nearly cried!
(the lego was Ali's one request)
After the honeymoon the Sweeneys will be off to Leicester to start a church with a church plant from their current church in Derby. I know that God will use them both greatly. They are a wonderful and wonderfully blessed couple.
I am so happy for them :)
Thursday, 5 May 2011
20...
I must apologise for not writing as much recently, it is the end of term and essays, exams, and the sun are becoming very prominent in my life for now.
I was just on facebook procrastinating and found a quote on a friend's status:
'When you have no helpers, see all your helpers in God. When you have many helpers, see God in all your helpers. When you have nothing but God, see all in God; when you have everything, see God in everything. Under all conditions, stay thy heart only on the Lord.' -Charles H. Spurgeon
I just thought it was really beautiful, and rather relevant for this time of year; when things are busy and focus is on so much that God can get pushed out of the picture.
I realise that I haven't said anything about New Word Alive since returning, and this is a fail
indeed.
New Word Alive was really helpful for me. I found it both encouraging and challenging.
I am going to share a couple of things from that week...
1. God is all.
One thing that has stuck with me the most is that God doesn't need us, that we aren't important. Now, don't get me wrong, He wants us and to Him we are incredibly important and precious. But for His plan to work, we aren't the responsible ones.
We have our roles, but we aren't needed:
2. To love God, we must understand His love for us.
In life people may let us down. Friends, family and loved ones can make us feel unloved. But we still love them. This love for them, however, can be from our own will (even if only for a short while). We can choose to love them anyway.
With God, a being that we can't always see and feel, it can be really hard to love Him. I know that sounds terrible, but it's true... at least for me. But I know that the only way I can love Him is through His love for me.
Just think about that for a moment...
I was just on facebook procrastinating and found a quote on a friend's status:
'When you have no helpers, see all your helpers in God. When you have many helpers, see God in all your helpers. When you have nothing but God, see all in God; when you have everything, see God in everything. Under all conditions, stay thy heart only on the Lord.' -Charles H. Spurgeon
I just thought it was really beautiful, and rather relevant for this time of year; when things are busy and focus is on so much that God can get pushed out of the picture.
I realise that I haven't said anything about New Word Alive since returning, and this is a fail
indeed.
New Word Alive was really helpful for me. I found it both encouraging and challenging.
I am going to share a couple of things from that week...
1. God is all.
One thing that has stuck with me the most is that God doesn't need us, that we aren't important. Now, don't get me wrong, He wants us and to Him we are incredibly important and precious. But for His plan to work, we aren't the responsible ones.
We have our roles, but we aren't needed:
It isn't our faith... it's God's faithfulness.
2. To love God, we must understand His love for us.
In life people may let us down. Friends, family and loved ones can make us feel unloved. But we still love them. This love for them, however, can be from our own will (even if only for a short while). We can choose to love them anyway.
With God, a being that we can't always see and feel, it can be really hard to love Him. I know that sounds terrible, but it's true... at least for me. But I know that the only way I can love Him is through His love for me.
Just think about that for a moment...
The only way I can love Him, is through His love for me...
While that can sound like a 'cop-out', handing all responsibility over to God, it is amazing in itself! and guess what... God already has that responsibility, not in a burdensome way, but because He is Love!
When we find it hard to love God, just think about His love for us... remind yourself of the Gospel and all its greatness!
It is so freeing to realise that everything is on God!
This doesn't mean that we are to be lazy... God's love should spur us into action and love for others.
Tapping into the source of Love can only lead to a constant flow of love!
It is so beautiful to think of God and His love for us! :)
And what a beautiful thing to reflect on in the first steps of my year as 20! :)
The Joy that overflows with His Love!
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
Spring is here :)
A beautiful friend of mine asked me to place more pictures on here, so I thought that as spring has arrived I would do so.
It's been beautiful in Aberystwyth recently, a definite change of season. And the beauty of it can be seen everywhere and it shines off everyone!
Everyone is so happy :) I love that when spring arrives, it seems to bring a spring in people's steps. People have been flocking to the beach and everyone is so happy :)
And nothing can take away from how beautiful the sunsets are...
How God has blessed me so!
Just a little thought to leave you with:
'For God is not a God of confusion but of peace'
(1 Corinthians 14 vs 33)
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
Sunshine and sleep
A week and a half after Marseilles and I need a holiday again!
After handing in two essays on Monday, I'm not happy that I have yet another two essays to write before the end of next week. It has completely worn me out! Though I don't think the essays are all to blame. The SUN!
The sun has been absolutely wonderful over the last week, really bright and warm... BUT when it comes to being woken up at 6.30/7.00 every day, it's not so great. I do love my window and my amazing sea view, but I really wish the sun would wait till 7.30/8.00 to wake me up! I'm looking forward to the clocks changing in two weeks time so this will be the case. I just want to be able to sleep! I try to be in bed around 12 every night (tonight I've been in bed since 9.30!) so I can get a good nights sleep, but I just don't want to be woken up before my alarm. It's nice every now and then, but not every day, and definitely not during essay period!
So, rant about the sun over, essays... So I've written an essay on conflict in Africa, which was actually really enjoyable to write, and an essay on on-line news sources, which wasn't so enjoyable, but now I'm writing an essay on the Rwandan genocide, and an essay on human trafficking. Makes for a pretty fun week, not! Though I do find it interesting, and maybe if I was getting proper sleep I wouldn't be so wound up.
However, on a more positive note, I had a pretty good weekend. Saturday night was Tom's birthday 'do'; 12 of us went to Pier Brasserie for a meal and then some of us went back to Tom's to play Scattegories and Jungle Speed. It was quite weird for me as it was the first time I've ever been the girlfriend for someone's birthday, so things like cake came down to me. I was actually really nervous. There was no way I was going to bake a cake as that would have made me so much more nervous, what if it went wrong and no one liked it?!, so a Cadbury Flake cake it was. Can't go wrong with chocolate!
Sunday was also a really good day. I spent the day with God. I came back from church, put some worship music on then did some painting while singing. I then did a bit of reading and listened to a talk while sat in my window watching everyone on the beach and the promenade. It was a beautiful day. I'm still working through Faith Like a Child and what I read on Sunday was really great. At church we were told to offer a gift that we have to God and ask him to use it. I had absolutely no idea what to write, and after a while I settled with empathy. One of the chapters I later read was on exactly that. It started off with a little story:
'I'm fond of the story about the young girl who took a while returning form the candy store. Her worried mother met her at the door and inquired, "Sweetheart, what took you so long?"
The girl replied, "I saw a little girl crying because her doll baby was broken."
The mother said, " That was nice of you to stop to help her fix it."
"No, mommy," said the girl. " I stopped to cry with her".'
After reading this, I sat and wept. It was just beautiful, and I could totally understand. Several months ago Tom and I were watching Spooks, in the episode we were watching one of the main characters, Danny, died. The episode, and the one before, had been on torture. After this episode I sat and wept for about 2 hours! I was heartbroken at the torture. Just to explain, it wasn't solely because of Spooks, I was also doing a module on terrorism at the time and we had been looking at torture. I was gutted at the fact people torture and are tortured all around the world. This is a personality trait that I have and it is why I am doing my course, I cannot sit back and just let this pass by. Today I've been looking at human trafficking and the statistics are terrible! We cannot let things like this go on around us, especially as Christians!
Anyway, aside from the terrible state this world is in, I found Sunday really encouraging. God really spoke to me about the way He sees me. Galatians 3 vs 16 says 'Now the promises were made to Abraham and to his offspring. It does not say, "and to offsprings", referring to many, but referring to one, "and to your offspring", who is Christ'. Galatians 3 vs 29 says 'And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to the promise'. These two verses are saying that when God looks at me (and you if you are in Christ) he sees Christ! He does not see me and my sin, but He sees Christ and His righteousness. Another real encouragement was found in Galatians 4 vs 6, it says 'And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!"'. This means that when I am feeling distant and cold, the Spirit of Christ is still in me crying "Abba! Father!" ("Daddy, Father" - really intimate!). This is so encouraging, as I know that, even if I feel distant, God is called, by the Spirit, to look at me, and when He does He is filled with such love and joy because He sees His Son!
I just need to keep reminding myself of this fact, it is so easy to forget when living day-to-day.
After handing in two essays on Monday, I'm not happy that I have yet another two essays to write before the end of next week. It has completely worn me out! Though I don't think the essays are all to blame. The SUN!
The sun has been absolutely wonderful over the last week, really bright and warm... BUT when it comes to being woken up at 6.30/7.00 every day, it's not so great. I do love my window and my amazing sea view, but I really wish the sun would wait till 7.30/8.00 to wake me up! I'm looking forward to the clocks changing in two weeks time so this will be the case. I just want to be able to sleep! I try to be in bed around 12 every night (tonight I've been in bed since 9.30!) so I can get a good nights sleep, but I just don't want to be woken up before my alarm. It's nice every now and then, but not every day, and definitely not during essay period!
So, rant about the sun over, essays... So I've written an essay on conflict in Africa, which was actually really enjoyable to write, and an essay on on-line news sources, which wasn't so enjoyable, but now I'm writing an essay on the Rwandan genocide, and an essay on human trafficking. Makes for a pretty fun week, not! Though I do find it interesting, and maybe if I was getting proper sleep I wouldn't be so wound up.
However, on a more positive note, I had a pretty good weekend. Saturday night was Tom's birthday 'do'; 12 of us went to Pier Brasserie for a meal and then some of us went back to Tom's to play Scattegories and Jungle Speed. It was quite weird for me as it was the first time I've ever been the girlfriend for someone's birthday, so things like cake came down to me. I was actually really nervous. There was no way I was going to bake a cake as that would have made me so much more nervous, what if it went wrong and no one liked it?!, so a Cadbury Flake cake it was. Can't go wrong with chocolate!
Sunday was also a really good day. I spent the day with God. I came back from church, put some worship music on then did some painting while singing. I then did a bit of reading and listened to a talk while sat in my window watching everyone on the beach and the promenade. It was a beautiful day. I'm still working through Faith Like a Child and what I read on Sunday was really great. At church we were told to offer a gift that we have to God and ask him to use it. I had absolutely no idea what to write, and after a while I settled with empathy. One of the chapters I later read was on exactly that. It started off with a little story:
'I'm fond of the story about the young girl who took a while returning form the candy store. Her worried mother met her at the door and inquired, "Sweetheart, what took you so long?"
The girl replied, "I saw a little girl crying because her doll baby was broken."
The mother said, " That was nice of you to stop to help her fix it."
"No, mommy," said the girl. " I stopped to cry with her".'
After reading this, I sat and wept. It was just beautiful, and I could totally understand. Several months ago Tom and I were watching Spooks, in the episode we were watching one of the main characters, Danny, died. The episode, and the one before, had been on torture. After this episode I sat and wept for about 2 hours! I was heartbroken at the torture. Just to explain, it wasn't solely because of Spooks, I was also doing a module on terrorism at the time and we had been looking at torture. I was gutted at the fact people torture and are tortured all around the world. This is a personality trait that I have and it is why I am doing my course, I cannot sit back and just let this pass by. Today I've been looking at human trafficking and the statistics are terrible! We cannot let things like this go on around us, especially as Christians!
Anyway, aside from the terrible state this world is in, I found Sunday really encouraging. God really spoke to me about the way He sees me. Galatians 3 vs 16 says 'Now the promises were made to Abraham and to his offspring. It does not say, "and to offsprings", referring to many, but referring to one, "and to your offspring", who is Christ'. Galatians 3 vs 29 says 'And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to the promise'. These two verses are saying that when God looks at me (and you if you are in Christ) he sees Christ! He does not see me and my sin, but He sees Christ and His righteousness. Another real encouragement was found in Galatians 4 vs 6, it says 'And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!"'. This means that when I am feeling distant and cold, the Spirit of Christ is still in me crying "Abba! Father!" ("Daddy, Father" - really intimate!). This is so encouraging, as I know that, even if I feel distant, God is called, by the Spirit, to look at me, and when He does He is filled with such love and joy because He sees His Son!
I just need to keep reminding myself of this fact, it is so easy to forget when living day-to-day.
Saturday, 26 February 2011
A Cold Heart and The Love of God
Last weekend was the St.Mikes' Student Girls Weekend. We went to a lovely place near Fishguard in Pembrokeshire.The speaker for the weekend was a lady called Heledd Job, she spoke about 'Image', though that wasn't what I took away from the weekend.
For a while I've been feeling 'cold'. I've found it hard to love God and to really love and understand the Gospel (outrageous I know). I knew that the way to love God more was to understand the Gospel and what Jesus has done for us, but every time I heard the Gospel, although there may be a slight 'wow', it just went through/over me. It didn't sink in, it wasn't making my heart soft or warm, and I wasn't loving God more.
This really frustrated me. I want to love my God, the one who saved me, created me and the world, and loves me immensely.
I went to Girls Weekend in the 'cook's' car to free up space elsewhere, this meant I arrived 3 hours earlier than everyone else. After pealing some potatoes the cook's went for a walk and I stayed in alone. I started reading a book I've got called 'Faith like a Child: Discover the Simple Joy of Loving God'.
This book is really encouraging. Although it is probably better suited for parents, as the author looks a lot at the relationship between parent and child and the way that mirrors the relationship between us and God, I still manage to understand what the author is saying from the point of view of the child.
In the time of reading while the cook's were on their walk I learnt about the need 'to be a child again'. Children have an amazing skill to 'trust, love, and live without considering first what's in it for them' and they are so joyful! They are humble but joyful. They keep life simple and enjoy it. As we grow older we seem to forget how to laugh and play so innocently and joyfully.
However, as the author distinguishes, there is a difference between being childish in spirit and childlike in spirit: 'A childish spirit is immature, while a childlike spirit promotes trust and strength. A childish spirit makes a game out of life, while a childlike spirit remembers to find joy on the path.'
After reading about the importance to laugh and play and enjoy life, I continued to read on... I read about how life is full of rejections, as we are all too aware, but God will never reject us! The Bible talks a lot about feet, especially the idea of dust on our feet from where we have been. As we go through life and do things wrong we get dirty, our feet get dirty, but what we need to remember is that Jesus came to wash us clean so that we will never be rejected. Jesus came to say 'No matter what you have done or not done, only one question needs to be answered: Are you willing to surrender your feet to be washed?'.
This thought was challenging; am I 'willing to surrender my feet to be washed?'. One thing that always holds us back from God is our sin, sometimes we hold things back from God, maybe recent sin or old festering sin. Ashamed of our sin we hide it, then we question why God feels so distant: I know I do. What I needed to do was allow Jesus to wash my feet.
Although I am washed, it doesn't necessarily mean I feel close to God straight away. It doesn't work like that. So I need to learn to go to God anyway. The next chapter in the book is titled 'Sitting on God's Lap'. The author looks at a child's need to sit on their parent's lap when they need comforting or need to feel safe. We need, and I need, to do this with God. I should rest 'in the lap of [my] Heavenly Father'.
I can approach with confidence the throne of grace so that I may receive mercy and find grace to help me in my time of need.
When raising the question of a cold heart in 'question time' at the weekend I was encouraged to find that most people experience a time in which they have a cold heart/desert time/distance between them and God. I was encouraged to hear that it is a time in which God is wanting me to seek after Him more, a time in which I am growing.
Life isn't full of emotional highs, we experience lows and steady times. What we need to remember in these times is to sit on our Heavenly Father's lap, continue to search after Him, and to trust Him with a childlike heart.
For a while I've been feeling 'cold'. I've found it hard to love God and to really love and understand the Gospel (outrageous I know). I knew that the way to love God more was to understand the Gospel and what Jesus has done for us, but every time I heard the Gospel, although there may be a slight 'wow', it just went through/over me. It didn't sink in, it wasn't making my heart soft or warm, and I wasn't loving God more.
This really frustrated me. I want to love my God, the one who saved me, created me and the world, and loves me immensely.
I went to Girls Weekend in the 'cook's' car to free up space elsewhere, this meant I arrived 3 hours earlier than everyone else. After pealing some potatoes the cook's went for a walk and I stayed in alone. I started reading a book I've got called 'Faith like a Child: Discover the Simple Joy of Loving God'.
Matthew 18:4-5:
"Whoever humbles himself like this child
is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me."
This book is really encouraging. Although it is probably better suited for parents, as the author looks a lot at the relationship between parent and child and the way that mirrors the relationship between us and God, I still manage to understand what the author is saying from the point of view of the child.
In the time of reading while the cook's were on their walk I learnt about the need 'to be a child again'. Children have an amazing skill to 'trust, love, and live without considering first what's in it for them' and they are so joyful! They are humble but joyful. They keep life simple and enjoy it. As we grow older we seem to forget how to laugh and play so innocently and joyfully.
However, as the author distinguishes, there is a difference between being childish in spirit and childlike in spirit: 'A childish spirit is immature, while a childlike spirit promotes trust and strength. A childish spirit makes a game out of life, while a childlike spirit remembers to find joy on the path.'
After reading about the importance to laugh and play and enjoy life, I continued to read on... I read about how life is full of rejections, as we are all too aware, but God will never reject us! The Bible talks a lot about feet, especially the idea of dust on our feet from where we have been. As we go through life and do things wrong we get dirty, our feet get dirty, but what we need to remember is that Jesus came to wash us clean so that we will never be rejected. Jesus came to say 'No matter what you have done or not done, only one question needs to be answered: Are you willing to surrender your feet to be washed?'.
This thought was challenging; am I 'willing to surrender my feet to be washed?'. One thing that always holds us back from God is our sin, sometimes we hold things back from God, maybe recent sin or old festering sin. Ashamed of our sin we hide it, then we question why God feels so distant: I know I do. What I needed to do was allow Jesus to wash my feet.
Although I am washed, it doesn't necessarily mean I feel close to God straight away. It doesn't work like that. So I need to learn to go to God anyway. The next chapter in the book is titled 'Sitting on God's Lap'. The author looks at a child's need to sit on their parent's lap when they need comforting or need to feel safe. We need, and I need, to do this with God. I should rest 'in the lap of [my] Heavenly Father'.
Hebrews 4:15-16:
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses,
but we have one who has been tempted in every way,
just as we are - yet is without sin.
Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence,
so that we may receive mercy and
find grace to help us in our time of need."
I can approach with confidence the throne of grace so that I may receive mercy and find grace to help me in my time of need.
When raising the question of a cold heart in 'question time' at the weekend I was encouraged to find that most people experience a time in which they have a cold heart/desert time/distance between them and God. I was encouraged to hear that it is a time in which God is wanting me to seek after Him more, a time in which I am growing.
Life isn't full of emotional highs, we experience lows and steady times. What we need to remember in these times is to sit on our Heavenly Father's lap, continue to search after Him, and to trust Him with a childlike heart.
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