Walking with God

Over the last week it's been on the back of my mind that I am not as close to God as I used to be.

I don't know if this an age thing, and in growing up I have become less 'emotion based' and so I don't get the 'bubbly feelings' any more. Or maybe I'm just in a time where I don't 'need' God so obviously. Of course, I always need Him, but throughout my first year at Aber I suffered from depression and my family was going through a really tough time, in this year I felt God really closely. I guess life in general is much better than it was and I'm no longer suffering from depression, maybe then I don't need so much obvious support and closeness to keep me going.

I've just found it difficult remembering walking with Him and being close to Him, being confident of who I was in Him and in His love for me. I know things are always greener on the other side, and I'm not saying it was like this all the time, but I just miss it.

I remember walking around Aber, on the sea front or up Constitution Hill and feeling God there, right next to me. I used to feel Him in my room with me and I'd regularly worship at the top of my lungs in my room and spend hours with Him reading my Bible.

I'm currently in the process of reading three books: 1. Growing in Christ, 2. Knowing God, 3. Disciplines of a Godly Woman. They have already taught me quite a bit. I've finished the first section of Growing in Christ and it was really helpful at looking at the basics of the Christian faith, in a lot of detail. Packer goes through the Apostle's Creed bit by bit and explains it, taking each section back to Christ's faithfulness and love for us. Knowing God looks at more practical ways of getting to really know God and Disciplines of a Godly Woman (which I've only just really started) looks at spiritual discipline that will help us grow.

While all these books focus on the Gospel and God's greatness and are really very great, I've finding it hard to understand the Gospel in its fullness again, I just don't know how. I've been working my way through John's gospel which has been really helpful, but again I'm left with the same issue. - It feels awkward.

I feel really very awkward when I feel like God may be drawing closer, and so I push away. I don't want to, its just a reaction. I find the same thing when I pray with people or talk with people about God, I just feel like 'whoa this is so cheesy and cringe worthy'.

I do know that God is good, and I know He is faithful, but I want to be able to walk with Him again and not feel awkward, not feel cheesy and not feel weird. He is a good God and I know that in His time He will bring me back into His arms.

The Shack

I know writing a post about The Shack now seems a little outdated but today I finished reading it.

I started reading The Shack nearly a year ago but put it down when uni reading became more of a priority, I picked it up today and finished it.

This book is such an emotional roller-coaster... and the emotion it brings is wonderful. I really like a book that brings me in and The Shack certainly achieves that.

The story is beautiful.

While it is beautiful and emotive and a wonderful piece of written work, sadly it has had a lot of controversy around it.

After The Shack was published it received an immediate response from the Christian community praising how amazing the book was and how it would be an amazing tool for evangelism. In fact, the cover of the book quotes "This book has the potential to do for our generation what John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress did for his. It's that good!".

However, after the immidiate hype came a somewhat longer lasting criticism of the book as theologically incorrect. Some of the issues include the portrayal of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Another is that of the 'logistics' of forgiveness.

Reading this book, I must admit that, as the writer states will probably occur, I am left with a greater desire for close relationship with God. Despite possible theological inaccuracies.

I think there are a couple of important things to remember when reading The Shack;

1. It was written by a non-Christian as a fictional book... he is not a theologian.

2. We should always question what we read. There are many books written which we, the Christian community, will priase simply because it is written by Wayne Grudem, John Piper, John Stott etc. We still need to question what we read and come to conclusions for our selves. This works in two ways. Firstly, we engage in what we are reading greater and therefore take away more. Secondly, we are not naive when discussing 'hot topics' such as the theological correctness of The Shack; I have had too many conversations about The Shack with people criticising it without having read it themselves.

The issue of the portrayal of God the Father ('Papa') in The Shack firstly as a woman I know has caused many to react. I would like to state however that God is outside gender. Our God is greater than our imagination and our understanding. Also, in The Shack, 'Papa' later appears as a man, a Father, He explains that Mack's issues with his father led to his needing to see God as outside of gender, and approach Him first as a big black woman to break down his stereotypes and his problems with "fathers". This, I believe, reveals God greatly! God reveals Himself understanding of our needs and difficulties, and in a way best restoring our relationship with Him.

How beautiful is that?!

I would urge anyone and everyone to read The Shack. It will bring you to tears, make you laugh, and leave you with a greater desire to know God personally. I have never read such a beautiful and challenging story... other than that of Jesus of course...

Blessings x